ook the abuse without dodging. Bystanders felt it very strange and asked him why he didn’t dodge the attack but rather laughed at it. The bald man said with a big smile, ‘That farmer is so dumb that when he did not find any hair on my head, he thought it was a rock, and then proceeded to use his plough to break the rock. If I dodged, wouldn’t I be agreeing that he was the smart one?’”

Linghu Chong burst into loud laughter. “Wonderful story!” he exclaimed. “That bald man was a real character! Even if he has to lose his life taking a beating, he shouldn’t budge.”

Seeing Linghu Chong’s happy face, Yilin felt great contentment. “Let me tell you another one called the parable of the ‘Doctor Making Princess Grow Up’,” she said. “Once upon a time, a king had a daughter. The king was a very impatient man. Seeing that the princess was just a little baby, he really wanted her to grow up fast. One day, he called upon the royal doctor and ordered him to make a special kind of medicine for the princess, so that when the princess took the medicine, she would grow up immediately. The royal doctor said, ‘It is possible to make such special medicine, but to collect all the ingredients and to refine them would require a lot of work. Please let me take the princess home and work on the medicine immediately. I will try to get it done as fast as I can, but your majesty cannot press me.’ The king said, ‘Fine, I won’t press you.’ The royal doctor carried the princess back to his own home and then started reporting to the king everyday that he was working on getting the ingredients and refining them. Twelve years went by. The royal doctor then reported to the king, ‘I have finished making the special medicine and the princess took the medicine today.’ He brought the princess to the king. The king was very pleased to see that the little baby had grown into a slim and graceful young girl. He praised the royal doctor’s excellent skills since right after taking the special medicine his daughter did grow up. So he granted him great quantities of gold and jewels.”

Linghu Chong burst into loud laughter again. “You said the king was an impatient man,” he said, “but he was actually not impatient at all. Didn’t he wait twelve years? If I were the royal doctor, I only need one day to change the baby princess into a seventeen year old slim and graceful young girl princess.”

Yilin stared at Linghu Chong with her eyes wide open. “How would you manage to do that?” she asked.

Linghu Chong grinned. “Apply ‘Heavenly Connecting Glue’ dressing outside and take ‘White Cloud Bear Gallbladder Pills’ inside.”

“Those are medicines for cuts and bruises, how can they make one grow taller and older?” Yilin asked, laughing.

“That’s right. After I carry the baby princess back home, I’d get four tailors….”

“Why would you get four tailors?” Yilin was even more confused.

“For making new dresses, of course.” Linghu Chong replied. “I’d have them measure your size and make a set of royal gowns the same night. The second morning, after you put them on, with an exquisite phoenix coronet on your head, a silk skirt with a hundred flower patterns, and a pair of slippers embroidered with golden thread and decorated with pearls on your feet, you can gracefully walk into the palace. First you call his majesty three times, then bow down to salute while saying, ‘My royal father, after I took the royal doctor Linghu Chong’s magical medicine, I grew up in one single night.’ When the king sees such a beautiful and lovely princess, he will burst with so much joy that he would never bother to check if you were real or not. Then, I, the royal doctor Linghu Chong, would of course get a handsome reward!”

Yilin giggled uncontrollably while listening to Linghu Chong. When he finally finished, she laughed so hard that she had to bend down and could not straighten herself up. After laughing for a long while, she said, “You are definitely smarter than the royal doctor in the ‘Scripture of the Hundred Parables.’ Too bad that I…I am so ugly, and don’t look like a princess at all.”

“If you are ugly, then there is nobody who could call themselves pretty in this world. In all the ages, there must have been tens of thousands of princesses, but none can compare to you,” Linghu Chong said.

Yilin was overjoyed to hear him complementing her so earnestly. “Did you meet all those tens of thousands of princesses?” she asked with a smile.

“Of course! I checked them out one by one in my dreams,” Linghu Chong said.

“Hey, why do you always dream about princesses?” Yilin grinned.

Linghu Chong chuckled and said, “When one thinks too much….” He suddenly remembered that Yilin was only an innocent and artless young nun. By joking with him, she had already violated her vows, how could he still carry on with her without any consideration? When he thought of that, he immediately became serious and faked a yawn.

“Ah, big brother Linghu, you must be tired. You should close your eyes and nap for a while,” Yilin said.

“Yes! Your jokes really worked magic. My wounds are not hurting anymore,” Linghu Chong said.

He had wanted Yilin to tell jokes so she would stop crying and smile again. Now that she was smiling, his goal had been accomplished, so he slowly closed his eyes.

Yilin sat by his side and gently whisked the branch again to drive away bugs. The sound of croaking frog could be heard from streams in the distance almost like a sweet lullaby. Yilin started feeling fatigue. Her eyelids were getting heavier and heavier; she couldn’t keep her eyes open and finally dozed off into her own dream world.

In the dream, she wore the beautiful dress of a princess and walked into a magnificent palace. A handsome young man by her side held her hand, and he seemed to vaguely resemble Linghu Chong. Then the two of them started floating into the air and above the clouds. She just felt unspeakable joy and relaxation. Suddenly an old nun ran after them, scowling, with a sword in her hand. It was the Master! Yilin was shocked! She heard her Master yelling, “You dirty little swine, you not only didn’t follow the rules of the nunnery, but dared to be a princess, and mix yourself up with this loafer!” Master grabbed her arm while yelling and started pulling insistently. Instantly, everything fell into complete darkness. Linghu Chong disappeared, and Master also disappeared, leaving her falling through the heavy dark clouds. Yilin screamed in fear, “Big brother Linghu, big brother Linghu!” Her entire body became weak and she could move neither her arms nor her legs. Not able to struggle, she screamed more and suddenly found herself waking up from a nightmare and being stared at by Linghu Chong, his eyes wide open. Yilin blushed. “I…I…,” she mumbled shyly.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Linghu Chong asked.

Yilin’s face blushed again. “I am not sure.” Then with a quick glance, she found Linghu Chong having an unusual expression on his face; it seemed as though he was trying to control some severe pain.

“Your…your wounds are hurting badly?” she asked hurriedly.

“It’s no big deal,” Linghu Chong said, but his voice was shaking. Soon, big drops of sweat beaded on his forehead. Yilin could easily tell that he was in great pain.

Yilin was very worried and kept asking herself, “What should I do? What should I do?”

She took out a handkerchief and wiped the perspiration from his brow. When her little fingers brushed Linghu Chong’s forehead, it felt as if she had just touched a piece of burning coal. She once heard from her Master that when a person was wounded by knife or sword cuts and became feverish it would be very dangerous. Out of desperation, she started reciting Buddhist scriptures.

“For all living creatures, when trouble happens, if he calls Bodhisattva Guanyin’s name with absolute faith, then Bodhisattva Guanyin[7] would hear him and help him out of the trouble. If the one calling Bodhisattva Guanyin’s name were trapped in a big fire, fire would not be able to burn him, all because of the holy power of the Bodhisattva. If he were washed away by big waves, then when he calls Bodhisattva’s name, he would be drifting to a shallow spot….”

The scriptures were from the ‘Scripture of Magical Power from Bodhisattva Guanyin.’ At the beginning, her voice was still trembling, after a while, she gradually calmed down. Hearing Yilin’s melodious voice getting calmer and calmer, Linghu Chong could tell that she had full faith in the magic power of the scripture.

She continued, “If one were about to be murdered, and he calls Bodhisattva Guanyin’s name, the murderer’s knife and staff would fall into pieces, thus protecting him from danger. If demons came to bother people, one can call Bodhisattva Guanyin’s name, then the demons wouldn’t be able to see him, not mentioning hurting him. If one has shackles around his body, no matter whether he is guilty or not, if he calls Bodhisattva Guanyin’s name, then all shackles would break loose and fall to the ground, he can then be freed from the restrain….”

Linghu Chong felt his amusement grow at these words and eventually let out a chuckle.

“What…what’s so funny?” Yilin asked in surprise.

“If I had known that, I wouldn’t have to learn Kung Fu,” Linghu Chong quipped. “If a villain or my personal enemy wanted to kill me, all I…I would need to do is to call upon Bodhisattva Guanyin’s name and the villain’s knife would fall to pieces, and I would remain safe…safe and sound.”

“Big brother Linghu, don’t be disrespectful to the Bodhisattva,” Yilin remonstrated. “If I don’t recite the scriptures with my full heart and faith, it would not work.”

She went on, “If fierce beasts surrounded you and you were frightened by their sharp teeth and claws, you could call Bodhisattva Guanyin’s name, and all the beasts would quickly leave. When you see venomous serpents and scorpions, you can call Bodhisattva Guanyin’s name and praise her holy power, then they will go back to their lairs. When lightening and thunders strike the ground and hail and heavy rain start pouring down, one can call Bodhisattva Guanyin’s name and praise her holy power so that the bad weather would stop and disappear. For all living creatures, there are so many difficulties, but the holy and wonderful power from Bodhisattva Guanyin will help us get through all of them….”

Linghu Chong could hear the sincerity in her voice. Although her voice was low, she was really praying for help with all her heart and had full faith to Bodhisattva Guanyin. It seemed that she had opened her whole heart to the Bodhisattva and was supplicating and praying deep from her heart for the Bodhisattva to show her magical power and stop Linghu Chong from suffering. She was almost like saying, “Bodhisattva Guanyin, I beg you to take away all the pain and suffering from big brother Linghu and transfer all of it to me. You can change me into a swine, or send me to hell, but please alleviate big brother Linghu of his misery….”

Later on, Linghu Chong could no longer discern her words, only the sound of her praying, so sincere and earnest. Unbidden tears filled Linghu Chong’s eyes. He lost his parents when he was just a child. Master and Master-Wife took good care of him, but because he was always naughty and mischievous, they gave him more punishment than kind affection; among the fellow apprentices, every one respected the big apprentice brother, and dared not to go against his wishes. Little apprentice sister Lingshan was close to him, but had never shown such care and selfless affection that would accept all manner of misery in exchange for his safety and joy. Feelings of gratitude welled up in his chest; in his eyes, the little nun seemed to have a holy halo around her body.

Yilin’s prayers became softer and softer; in her vision, there seemed to be a real Bodhisattva Guanyin standing in front of her, waving a willow branch and spreading dew to help the needy and relieve the distressed. And every call to the Bodhisattva was a direct plea to ask for mercy for Linghu Chong. Linghu Chong’s heart was filled with gratitude and peace, and soon fell asleep to the gentle and faithful sound of the scriptures.

__________

[1] In Buddhism, monks and nuns are required to shave their heads, but in Taoism, Taoist Priests are not required to shave their heads.

[2] “Xiang” is another name of Hunan Province.

[3] According to Buddhism theory, there are eighteen levels of hell. The eighteenth level is the bottom-most one, and also the worst one. When one dies, he falls to one of the hells. The smaller the number, the better it is, because then he can be reborn sooner. If one falls to the eighteenth hell, then he will have to spend eternity in hell, and never have a chance to be reborn.

[4] In Chinese philosophy and religion, two principles, one negative, dark and feminine (Yin) and one positive, bright, and masculine (Yang), from whose interaction all things are produced and all things are dissolved. Here Mu Gaofeng is referring to a method of having intercourse with multiple females and use the energy absorbed to nourish one’s own health. This method is actually recorded in ancient Chinese medicine books, but most people consider this pornography.

[5] A Buddhist’s way of praying.

[6] The Chinese character ‘hu’ is a combination of the character of ‘dog’ and the character of ‘melon’.

[7] Bodhisattva Guanyin is a very famous Buddha. Most believe Bodhisattva Guanyin is a female, but others believe Bodhisattva Guanyin is a male. He/she is the main Buddha nuns pray to.