returnChapter 11 – Always Foolish(4 / 4)  Demi-Gods and Semi-Devilshome

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ial arts? With his level of internal energy and this sword technique, what an extremely fearful opponent he would be!”

Duan Yu had long known that his continued existence lay solely under the control of Jiumozhi. He shouted, “Sister Ah Zhu and Ah Bi, hurry up and run away! If you take any longer, you won’t have a chance to escape!” Ah Zhu asked, “Young master Duan, why are you rescuing us?” Duan Yu replied, “This monk relies on his high level of martial arts to bully and oppress others. Unfortunately, I don’t know any martial arts at all. It is difficult for me to fight him off. Hurry up and run away!”

Jiumozhi laughed. “Far too late for that.” Taking a step forwards, he struck out with the fingers of both hands, pointing towards Duan Yu’s acupoints. Duan Yu let out a cry. “Aiyo!” He tried to avoid the attack, but how could he? Once more, three of his vital acupoints were sealed, and his limbs immediately felt numb and heavy. Falling on the floor, he shouted loudly, “Ah Zhu, Ah Bi, hurry up and leave!”

Jiumozhi laughed, “You are at the brink of death and unable to protect yourself. You still have the desire to enjoy perfume and cherish jade?” He returned to his original seat and said to Ah Zhu, “Young miss, there’s no need for you to continue play-acting and fooling around. Who, exactly, is in charge of the manor’s matter? Young master Duan fully memorized the entirety of the ‘Divine Sword of the Six Meridians’, but does not know martial arts and thus finds it difficult to actually use it. Tomorrow, I will take him to Mr. Murong’s mausoleum and burn him in sacrifice. In the underworld, Mr. Murong will understand that his old friend did not renege upon their earlier agreement.”

Ah Zhu knew that no one currently at the Pavilion of Zither Melodies was a match for this monk. Wrinkling her forehead, she laughed. “Fine! Master monk, we’ll believe your words. The old master’s mausoleum is a day’s journey away by water. Tonight, it is too late to leave. Tomorrow morning, the two of us will personally escort you and young master Duan to pay your respects at the tomb. The four of you, please wait just a short moment. Dinner will be served soon.” After she spoke, she grabbed Ah Bi by the wrist and retreated into the inner pavilion.

After an hour passed, a male servant came out and said, “Miss Ah Zhu would like to invite the four of you to the ‘Dwelling for Listening to the Rain’ for supper.” Jiumozhi said, “Many thanks!” Stretching out his hand, he seized Duan Yu’s arm and followed the man in. They winded their way through hundreds of feet of paved cobblestone alleys and a few stone parks before arriving by the waterside. Beneath the willow trees lay a small boat. The male servant pointed to a cabin with windows on all four sides that was situated in the middle of the water. “It is right there.” Jiumozhi, Duan Yu, Cui Baiquan, and Guo Yanzhi stepped onto the boat, and the male servant rowed them there. They arrived after a brief period of time.

Duan Yu walked up the wooden oak stairs of and entered the ‘Dwelling for Listening to the Rain’. He saw Ah Bi waiting to attend to the guests, wearing light green clothing. By her side stood a young maiden who wore a light red yarncloth garment. She was also around sixteen or seventeen years of age, and she aimed an expression that seemed like a smile yet wasn’t quite towards Duan Yu. Her face was full of mischieviousness and cleverness. Ah Bi had a ‘melon seed’ face and was elegant and beautiful. This maiden had a ‘goose egg’ face. Her eyes were lively and intelligent, and she displayed a different type of stirring aura.

As soon as he entered the room, Duan Yu once again smelled that faint fragrance. Laughing, he said, “Sister Ah Zhu, you are such a beautiful woman. It must have been tough for to so convincingly portray an old lady.” That maiden was indeed Ah Zhu. She batted him a glance, then laughed, “You kowtowed to me three times and aren’t content in your heart. Am I right?” Duan Yu shook his head repeatedly. “There was a lot of reason for me to kowtow three times to you. Only, my guesses were a bit off.” Ah Zhu asked, “What did you guess wrong?” Duan Yu replied, “I guessed from the beginning that you were just like Ah Bi, that both of you were beauties the likes of which are rarely seen in the world. But in my heart, I imagined that you must have been about on par with Ah Bi. I didn’t imagine that upon actually seeing you…well…well…” Ah Zhu interjected, “You found that I was far inferior to Ah Bi?” Ah Bi said at the same time, “You were greatly startled, because she is ten times more beautiful than me, right?”

Duan Yu shook his head. “Neither. I just felt that the heavens are really capable and are truly worthy of mankind’s admiration. After wracking their brains and creating such a beautiful girl as sister Ah Bi, they should have totally exhausted all of their ability to portray the spirit and beauty of Jiangnan. Who would have imagined that they would be able to create a sister Ah Zhu as well? The two of you look totally different, yet each of you possess you own unique beauty. It makes me want to say a few things in praise, but I couldn’t manage to say a single word at all.”

Ah Zhu laughed. “Bah! You glibly just said a lot of things in praising us, and still want to claim that you couldn’t manage to say a single word?”

Ah Bi smiled slightly, then turned her head and spoke to Jiumozhi and the rest. “I’m afraid that we don’t have the resources to properly welcome you four esteemed personages. I’ll have to ask that you just make do with our watery wine and do your best to enjoy some of our local Jiangnan dishes.” She immediately invited the four of them to be seated, with her and Ah Bi taking seats to the right.

Duan Yu saw that the ‘Dwelling for Listening to the Rain’ was surrounded by water on all four sides. Glancing out the window, he saw mist covering the waters of the lake. Turning back to the table, he saw that all of the dishes on the table were made of exquisite porcelain. In his heart, he couldn’t help but exclaim in praise.

Shortly afterwards, the male servants brought some dishes made from fruits and vegetables. Four vegetarian dishes were especially prepared for Jiumozhi. Next came a number of cooked dishes; white water chestnuts with shrimp meat, lotus leaf and winter bamboo shoot soup, cherry ham, dragon well vegetable leaves with chicken, and the like. Every dish was extremely unique. In the middle of the fish, shrimp, and meat were intermixed flower petals and fresh fruit. The dishes were extremely beautiful, and gave off a natural, pure fragrance. Duan Yu tried a few chopsticks of every single dish. All of them were wonderful and tasty. He praised, “Only such a wonderful landscape as this place can produce such talented people. In turn, only such talented people can be so intelligent and wise as to produce such elegant dishes.”

Ah Zhu said, “Guess if I cooked the dishes, or if Ah Bi cooked the dishes?” Duan Yu replied, “The cherry ham and the plum blossom duck are fragrant, tender, and rosy. I think you made them. The lotus leaf and winter bamboo shoot soup and the round jade fish slices are verdant and cleanly chopped. Naturally, they were made by sister Ah Bi.”

Ah Zhu clapped her hands and laughed. “Your guessing abilities are really good! Ah Bi, what should we reward him with?” Ah Bi smiled. “If young master Duan has any instructions for us to carry out, we would naturally do so to the best of our abilities. What’s all this talk about giving him ‘rewards’ and ‘awards’? We’re just servant girls. We aren’t worthy of such.” Ah Zhu replied, “Hah, as soon as you open your mouth you flatter others. No wonder every says you’re good and I’m bad.” Duan Yu laughed, “Gentle and refined, lively and clever. The two are equally good. Sister Ah Bi, earlier, when I heard you playing songs on the soft whip, I felt relaxed and carefree. I’d like to ask you to play some melodies on actual instruments. If you do so, even if I am turned into ash tomorrow by this great monk, my time on this earth won’t have been spent in vain.

Ah Bi slowly rose to her feet. “As long as you don’t find it unpleasant to hear, I am willing to embarrass myself to give some joy to our guests.” As she spoke, she went behind a screen, then came out with a precious jade zither. Ah Bi sat up straight on a brocade seat and placed the jade zither in front of her. She waved towards Duan Yu and laughed, “Young master Duan, why don’t you come over and see if you can identify what type of zither this is.”

Walking to her, Duan Yu saw that her zither was a foot shorter than ordinary seven-stringed zithers. In addition, it had nine strings, each of which had a different color. He muttered to himself, “This is the first time I’ve seen this nine-stringed zither.” Ah Zhu walked towards them and plucked a single string on the zither. The sound was very loud and clear. The string was made out of metal. Duan Yu said, “Sister, this zither is…”

Just as he spoke these four words, the floor suddenly disappeared underneath him. His body fell straight down. He couldn’t help but let out a loud cry of alarm. Next, he felt as though he landed on a soft location. At the same time, he seemed to hear someone else say ‘Aiyo!’ and ‘Not good!’, followed by two splashing sounds. His body suddenly swayed, as the thing he was resting on began to move. This strange event happened very quickly and was totally unexpected. Startled and frightened, he hurriedly sat up. He saw that he was sitting in the middle of a small boat, with Ah Bi and Ah Zhu each sitting on one end of the boat. Each of them had an oar and were hurriedly paddling. Turning around, he saw that Jiumozhi, Cui Baiquan, and Guo Yanzhi’s heads had just popped above the surface of the water. After but a short period of rowing by Ah Bi and Ah Zhu, the small boat was far away from the ‘Dwelling for Listening to the Rain’.

Suddenly, a drenched person shot up from the surface of the lake. It was Jiumozhi. He landed on the side of the ‘Dwelling for Listening to the Rain’. He easily snapped off part of a wooden pillar, aimed it at Ah Bi, then urgently cast it towards her. The makeshift missile made a whirring sound as it tore through the air with great force. Ah Bi cried out, “Young master Duan, duck!” Duan Yu and the two girls ducked at the same time, as half of a wooden pillar flew right over their heads. The powerful wind made by its passing actually hurt their neck.

Flexing her body, Ah Zhu turned the boat slightly sideways. Suddenly, a series of loud splashing sounds could be heard, and the small boat suddenly lifted up in the air before immediately falling down again. A large amount of lake water entered the boat and all three of them became wet. Turning his head, Duan Yu saw that Jiumozhi had already wrecked the wooden portion of the ‘Dwelling for Listening to the Rain’, and was repeatedly tossing stone vessels, incense burners, and other objects towards them. Watching the trajectories of the missiles, Ah Bi turned the boat to avoid them. Meanwhile, Ah Zhu kept on paddling forward with all her might. With each stroke of the oar, the boat travelled several feet further away from the ‘Dwelling for Listening to the Rain’. Jiumozhi continued to lob missiles at them, but the distance between the boat and where they landed grew greater and greater. Even if his strength was greater, he couldn’t compete with the ceaseless tugging of the oars by the two maidens. Turning his head again, Duan Yu saw that Cui Baiquan and Guo Yanzhi had managed to scramble onto the steps of the ‘Dwelling for Listening to the Rain’. He felt delighted, but upon seeing Jiumozhi leap into a small boat, let out a cry of alarm.

Ah Zhu cried out, “That evil monk is following us!” She exerted all her might to paddle as fast she could, but after turning her head to take another glance, burst into loud laughter. Duan Yu also turned his head and saw that Jiumozhi’s boat was just spinning in place. Evidently, although Jiumozhi possessed a very high level of martial arts, he didn’t know how to row a boat.

The three of them immediately felt relieved. But after a short period of time, they saw that Jiumozhi had managed to stabilize the boat and was now hurriedly paddling after them. Ah Bi sighed, “This great master is really intelligent. Anything he doesn’t know, he learns in a flash.” Ah Zhu replied, “Let’s play hide and seek with him.” Tugging on her oar, she brought the boat into the middle of a dense forest of water chestnuts. The great lake had hundreds of harbors and thousands of waterways. After making several turns, their boat entered a small river. They thought to themselves that it was very unlikely that Jiumozhi would be able to locate them.

Duan Yu said, “Unfortunately, my acupoints are sealed, and I can’t help you two row.” Ah Bi comforted him, “Young master Duan, don’t be worried. The monk won’t be able to chase after us, yeah.”

Duan Yu said, “The secret mechanism in the ‘Dwelling for Listening to the Rain’ is really interesting. This boat was precisely placed underneath the location where you play the zither, right?” Ah Bi smiled. “Right. That’s why I invited you to come check out the zither. Sister Ah Zhu’s plucking of the zither was the sign for the male servants outside to remove the planks underneath us and have everyone go plop, plop, plop!” The three of them laughed loudly in unison. Ah Bi hurriedly covered her mouth and said with a smile, “Don’t let that monk hear us.”

From far away, a voice could be heard. “Miss Ah Zhu, Miss Ah Bi, please row the boat back. Please hurry back, I am a friend of your master and definitely will not give you a hard time.” It was Jiumozhi’s voice. His voice was gentle and amiable, capable of causing people to naturally obey his instructions.

Ah Zhu was startled. “The great master asked for us to come back and says he definitely won’t hurt us.” As she spoke, she stopped paddling, as though she was seriously considering it. Ah Bi chimed in, “If that’s the case, let’s go back!” Duan Yu’s internal energy was very strong, and so wasn’t bewildered in the slightest by Jiumozhi’s voice. He hurriedly said, “He’s lying. How can you trust his words?” Jiumozhi’s pleasant, amiable words entered their ears. “Young misses, your master has returned. He says he wants to see both of you, and that you are to return immediately. Yes, return immediately.” Ah Zhu was compelled to agree. “Yes!” Lifting up the oar, she turned the boat around.

Duan Yu thought to himself, “If young master Murong had really returned, he himself would call out to Ah Zhu and Ah Bi. Why would he rely on Jiumozhi? This is no doubt an evil technique meant to delude the minds of others.” Having come to this conclusion, he reached down and grabbed a few water chestnut leaves, rolled them together, then stuck them into Ah Bi and Ah Zhu’s ears.

Her wits returned to her, Ah Zhu involuntarily cried out, “Ack! Close one!” Ah Bi was also frightened. “This monk knows some sort of soul-affecting technique. We almost fell for his trick.” Turning the boat around, Ah Zhu hurriedly began paddling again. She cried out, “Ah Bi, paddle as fast as you can!”

The two of them paddled the boat directly into the middle of the water chestnut fields. After a long time, Jiumozhi’s voice grew faint and indistinct, until finally he could no longer be heard. Duan Yu gestured to the two of them, signaling that they could now remove the leaves from their ears.

Patting her chest, Ah Bi let out a long sigh. “Whew, that was real scary-like, yeah! Sister Ah Zhu, whaddya think we should do?” Ah Zhu said, “Let’s just paddle around in circles and waste the monk’s time. If we get hungry, we can pluck water chestnuts and lotus roots to eat. Even if we face off against him for ten days or half a month, we wouldn’t be in the slightest danger.” Ah Bi smiled. “What an interesting idea. Young master Duan, would you be too bored though?” Duan Yu clapped his hands and laughed. “There’s no shortage of sights to see on this lake. With the two of you accompanying me in touring this place for ten days, I would be happier than a celestial being.” Ah Bi’s smooth lips gently smiled. “We’re heading towards the southeast right now. There’s a lot of tributaries to this river. Aside from local fisherman, nobody can easily remember the routes. After we enter Lake Baiqu [Baiqu means ‘Hundred Melodies’], the monk will definitely become unable to catch up to us.” Duan Yu lay down on the boat, gazing upon the many glittering stars in the sky. Aside from the rustle of the oars and the boat brushing against the water caltrops, there was no sound at all. There was a gentle breeze on the lake, which carried with it a faint aroma. He thought to himself, “Even if I lived the rest of my life like this, I wouldn’t mind.” Then he thought to himself, “With Ah Zhu and Ah Bi being such nice people, young master Murong can’t be some sort of horrible villain either. I wonder if he really was the one to kill master Xuanbei of Shaolin and Mr. Huo’s martial brother. Alas, although my family has a lot of servant girls, none of them can match sister Ah Zhu or sister Ah Bi.”

After a long time, just as he was about to close his eyes and fall asleep, he suddenly hear Ah Bi let out a quiet laugh and say in a low voice, “Sister Ah Zhu, come over here.” Ah Zhu also spoke in a low voice, “Whaddya want?” Ah Bi said, “Come over here, I have somethin’ to say.” Ah Zhu lowered the oar and walked to the stern of the boat. Ah Bi pulled her over by the shoulder and quietly laughed into her ear, “Help me think of something so I aint gonna be shamin’ mahself.” Ah Zhu laughed, “Whassa matter?” Ah Bi said, “Quiet, quiet. Is young master Duan a’sleepin’ yet?” Ah Zhu replied, “Dunno, jus’ go’n’ask’m.” Ah Bi said, “Can’t, can’t. Ah Zhu, Ah Zhu, I…I…I need to relieve myself.”

Their voices were as soft as the buzzing of mosquitoes, but Duan Yu’s internal energy was extremely profound. Naturally, he heard every word clearly. Upon hearing Ah Bi say these words, he didn’t dare move in the slightest. He pretended to let out light snores and be asleep, so as to prevent Ah Bi from being embarrassed.

Ah Zhu laughed quietly. “Young master Duan is a’sleepin’. Just go ahead and relieve yourself.” Ah Bi bashfully said, “Aint gonna try. What if I’m half-way through and young master Duan suddenly wakes up? It’d be unthinkable!” Ah Zhu couldn’t help but let out a peal of laughter. She hurriedly covered her mouth, then said in a low voice, “Whaddya mean, it’d be unthinkable? Everyone needs to relieve themselves from time to time. Nuthin’ weird about it.” Ah Bi shook her body, then said in a pleading voice, “Please, sister Ah Zhu, help me think of an idea.” Ah Zhu replied, “I’ll stand in front of you. You go ahead and relieve yourself. Even if young master Duan wakes up, he won’t be able to see nuthin’, yeah?” Ah Bi replied, “But there would be noise! I can’t have him hear either. I…I…” Ah Zhu laughed. “Yer sis is outta ideas. I guess you can just relieve yourself on yourself. He won’t smell anything.” Ah Bi said, “I can’t! When someone’s in front of me, I can’t go.” Ah Zhu said, “There’s no place to go. Just go ahead and do it.” Ah Bi was so anxious she began to cry. “I can’t, I just can’t!”

Ah Zhu suddenly let out another peal of laughter. “It’s all your fault. If you hadn’t said anything, I would’ve been fine. But now I need to go too! From here to Madame Wang’s residence lies only a half-nine away. Let’s paddle there and relieve ourselves.” Ah Bi said, “Madame Wang forbid us from entering. If she catches us, she’ll slap us upside the head a few times.” Ah Zhu said, “Aint no need to worry. Madame Wang and our old mistress cursed at and insulted each other, but our old mistress has already passed away, yeah. We’re just a pair of servant girls. How could we have offended her, and why would she slap us upside the head, yeah? Let’s just quietly sneak on land and relieve ourselves, then immediately leave. How would she ever know we were there?” Ah Bi replied, “That be so.” After mumbling to herself a moment, she said, “Then we need ta have young master Duan go ashore and relieve himself first. Otherwise…otherwise, if we just rush ashore, it’d be real awkward-like, yeah?”

Ah Zhu let out a soft laugh. “You really know how to take care of people. Careful, if the young master finds out, he’ll be jealous.” Ah Bi sighed. “How could the young master take this sorta small matter to heart, yeah? We’re just a pair of little servant girls. The young master has never taken us to heart.” Ah Zhu said, “And I don’t want you takin’m to heart, yeah? Sister Ah Bi, stop daydreaming about him day and night. Aint no use.” Ah Bi let out a quiet sigh and did not reply. Ah Zhu clapped her on the shoulder, then said in a low voice, “You are thinking of relieving yourself, but also thinking about the young master. The two thoughts are getting mixed together, yeah? Aint that a laugh!” Ah Bi let out a soft laugh. “Sis, you’re gossiping. Don’t you have something to do?”

Ah Zhu returned to the front of the boat and began paddling again. After they paddled for some time, the sky began to brighten.

Duan Yu’s internal energy was very vigorous, and his internal energy could not remain sealed forever. Previously, Jiumozhi would reseal his acupoints after every few hours had passed. Now, after so much time had passed, he gradually felt his internal energy circulation begin to smooth out as the sealed acupoints began to unlock. Letting out a lazy yawn, he sat up and said, “I took a long nap, while you two were working so hard. There’s something I need to say which is a bit inappropriate. Please don’t be offended. I, uh, I need to relieve myself.” He thought that it would be best for he himself to broach the topic first, so as to allow the girls to not feel awkward.

Ah Zhu and Ah Bi simultaneously let out a burst of laughter. Ah Zhu said, “Not too far away is the abode of a relative of ours, the Wang family. Just go ashore there to relieve yourself.” Duan Yu said, “If that’s the case, wonderful.” Ah Zhu immediately adopted a stern expression. “But Madame Wang has a very strange temperament. She doesn’t allow strange men to visit. As soon as you take care of business, immediately return to the boat. We don’t want to cause any unnecessary trouble.” Duan Yu replied, “Alright, understood.”

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